So as many of you know my Grandma (Sylvia Goldstein) died this morning at 7:20 am. I found out around 10 am as I was finishing my morning walk.

Grandma was 95 years old. She had recently fallen into the grips of Alzheimers and for over a year she had her good days, her bad days and her horrible days.

My grandma was a very independent,  strong and loving woman. She was without a doubt one of the most important women in my life. Since I was little, we always and a very strong bond. She knew how to relate to me. She would come visit from the Bronx to my then house in Yardley (Pennsylvania) and we would play and talk and have a wonderful time together.

As I got older my relationship with my grandma grew. I would visit her at her place in Fort Lee (New Jersey), she had since moved there from the Bronx,  as much as I could. When I was dating someone it was very important to me that they met her and when I finally met my wife, Meredith, my grandma quickly met her (and approved, I might add).

We Were Prepared

Grandma’s death was not sudden, we knew it was coming. She had been gradually getting worse. Last Thursday night she slipped into a coma and we all thought it was the end. She was in a nursing home in North Jersey and for a number of reasons I couldn’t make it up. Grandma held on for some reason. Sunday morning my father called me so that I could tell her goodbye. When I did, according to my aunt, Grandma, upon hearing my voice raised her eyebrows and nodded her head. It was as if she knew it was me.

Grieving and coping

To be honest, everyone deals with the death of someone dear to them differently. With sadness comes the need to cope and how you cope is different for everyone. In the Jewish faith, we sit shiva. Shiva is a time, around 7 days, where the mourning family spends time together and remembers the person who died. It’s a coping mechanism and it works.

My family, though doesn’t really sit shiva, it’s a personal choice. After burying our loved one we get together and have lunch and spend time together, but after the evening draws to a close, everyone goes their separate ways. In a way it is a shiva, in miniature form.

Everyone copes differently

With her death, I felt like I needed to do something to deal with the pain of losing such an important person in my life. And though we’re having the funeral in two days, I’ve started to sit my own version of shiva. Being a creative person and having done a Website for my Uncle Lee when he past on, I decided to make one for her. (Click to view)

I’ve also be sharing my feelings publicly with my friends in the social web, Twitter and Facebook and blogging  mostly. Many people have asked me why I’m being so public with my grief. All I can say is that I’ve made a conscious choice to share my life with people through social media and by sharing my grief with others, I’m coping and also relating to others who might be going through the same thing I am. The out-pouring of support has be amazing.

All in all, these are my ways of sharing with the world how much I loved her (always will) and how much she meant to me. It relates what I do on a daily basis, Web design, social media and journalism, and helps me deal with the loss.

How do you cope with losing someone special? Do you do anything unique? Post your thoughts below in the comments.

You never really know how important someone is until you’re trying to get work done and all you can do is worry about that person being okay. Right now my father-in-law Elliott is in surgery for his back. It’s a surgery that’s done regularly so I shouldn’t be worried or anxious, but I am.

My wife got up this morning at the crack of dawn to go to the Hospital at the University of Pennsylvania with her parents to keep her mom company during the operation. It really didn’t make any sense for me to go then because all they would be doing is waiting in the waiting room for hours. Our plan is for me to come down later to visit and take my wife home, she’s going to be exhausted.

But back to the point of this post. My father-in-law and I get along. I wouldn’t say we’re so buddy-buddy that we would go on a fishing trip together, but we get along and enjoy each other. He’s actually a member of my networking group as well so I see plenty of him. Even with seeing him twice  on most weeks, I never totally realized how important he was to me. I know how important he is to my wife. Besides being her father, they worked together in the mortgage industry until my wife left to manage a sports ticket company. But now that something serious is happening I realize how important he is to me as well.

When you get married you always hope to get along with your in-laws and luckily I do. But to be honest, they’ve become more than tolerable, they’ve be come family and I love them.

So I guess what I’m saying is that, though I know he’s going to be fine, I never really new how important he was to me until this operation.

Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. He’s a tough guy and he’ll recover just fine, but every thought helps.

Thanks

Update: My father-in-law is out of the hospital and recovering in the hospital for the next couple of days.